Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
