The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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