Will you blow on my dice?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
