there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
