Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
