what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
