the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
