i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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