it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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