I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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