how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just found puke in my bra..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
