Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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