I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
