OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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