Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
