He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
