i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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