There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
