dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
