i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dicks are not precious.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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