her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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