Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
