found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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