do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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