just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
