We're like a lot better than the average bears
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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