i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
