Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
