i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
