He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
