My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
