I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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