I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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