Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
