I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
