Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
