Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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