and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
