Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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