remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We have started to decorate penises.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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