And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
