i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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