ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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