I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
