Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
