Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
