my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
