I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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