no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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