she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
