Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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