so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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